Oh the Woes of Sasuke Uchiha
by Jacyndaisawesome
Summary: Sasuke disliked many things such as; Large crowds of people, spending money, greasy food, sweet things, rigged games, bright lights, hot weather, carnival rides, farm animals, the smell of farm animals and generally anything Sakura and Naruto deemed fun.


Sasuke Uchiha, despite popular belief, did not hate many things. He did however have a very precise scale in which he rated everything on.

_On a scale from 1 to Itachi how much do you dislike this? _Sasuke would think. No, nothing ever rated Itachi, except for, well, Itachi. Therefore he only used hate when defining the one person that he truly, absolutely hated most, Itachi.

However, this did not stop Sasuke from _disliking _many things such as; Large crowds of people, spending money, greasy food, sweet things, rigged games, bright lights, hot weather, carnival rides, farm animals, the smell of farm animals and generally anything Sakura and Naruto deemed 'fun'.

So you can only imagine Sasuke's answer when Naruto and Sakura ask him to go to the one place where all these things are put together and then called, by some presumably sick, sick minded people, 'fun'.

"No," Sasuke said in his signature monotone, "You are annoying, leave."

"Pleassee?" Sakura begged, clapping her hands together in a pleading motion, "It'll be so fun! There are tons of rides and games, not to mention all the animals, I heard they have a petting zoo this year!"

Sasuke cringed at the thought, there was no way he was going.

"Plus" Sakura said in an almost sing song voice, "There will be tons of fair food! They have the best curly fries."

Sasuke almost gagged at the thought, so much grease and salt, he could barely stomach his mother's greasy cooking. Sasuke's face twisted into a unhappy scowl, he wished he could taste his mother's greasy cooking again, "Sakura, you are **annoying**, leave."

Sakura sighed in defeat, hanging her head she slowly marched back to her house. Sasuke sighed leaning back on the bench he was resting on, his eyes closed and he was almost asleep, almost. Until Naruto decided to crashed into him, making him fall off the bench he was so comfortably perched on.

"Sasuke! You are going or else I'm telling everyone about your tomato plants!" Naruto said loudly, pointing down at the confused Sasuke.

"Dobe, I don't have tomato plants, and even if I did, why would anyone care?" Sasuke sighed, "And I'm not going, now leave."

"Actually," Naruto said, smirking, "You have to, Kakashi said it would be a 'team building exercise' so HAH."

Sasuke rolled his eyes at how childish the blonde was being, "Fine, whatever, leave."

Naruto smiled happily, before bounding away, almost as fast as he had came.

Sasuke cringed, walking back to his house, he was not looking forward to tomorrow, the grand opening of the Konoha _Fair_.

* * *

Sasuke woke up the next day, dreading what he was about to face. Taking a quick shower, and then putting on his clothing, he headed out to meet Naruto and Sakura at the entrance to the fair. After another hour or so of waiting, Kakashi had finally arrived, and they began their 'team building exercise'.

Sakura and Naruto bounded happily into the fair, immediately racing towards the ticket booth to buy as much tickets as they could for the rides. Sasuke hung back, already feeling a headache forming. His plan was to stick with Kakashi, knowing he didn't have much of a tolerance for these evens either. But after looking around, Sasuke realized his teacher was missing. Cursing every god he could think of he began walking, mainly because he was still at the entrance and girls were practically groping him as they entered.

Then it hit him, almost like a punch to the face, the thick, pungent smell of grease. Sasuke gagged a little before turning and walking as fast as he could away from the smell. But he couldn't escape it, everywhere he turned he was either met by a crowd of people, the smell of grease, or the animal bins. The only way to the ride area, which he hoped smelled at least slightly better, was through the animal and food area.

Sasuke sighed and took a deep breath, walking as quickly as he could, he passed all the animals without a second glace. All the goats, cows, sheep, llamas, chickens, pigs, and horses stared at him, with a curious gaze. Sasuke could see the entrance to the food court, he was almost free from the nasty animals and the even nastier smells when,

"Hey Sasuke! I didn't know you liked animals!" A girls voice called out.

Sasuke turned, coming face to face with Ino, "I don't."

"Well then why are you here?" Shikamaru asked, slowly trailing the blonde.

"Kakashi said it was a team building exercise. I was forced into going,"

"Us too! Asuma totally said we were all going to go, but then he ditched us as soon as we got in. We saw all the teachers at the bar across the street." Ino said looking at a stand of dresses just past Sasuke. The rage that filled Sasuke could have killed Itachi with a look.

"When today is over, Kakashi is never going to be happy again." Sasuke muttered, cursing Kakashi with every nasty word he could thing of.

Ino, Shikamaru, and the newly arrived Choji stared at Sasuke as an aura of hate swirled around Sasuke.

"Soo," Choji drawled, "There is this awesome dumpling stand,"

"Let's go," Ino said quickly, dragging Shikamaru and Choji far away from the furious Uchiha.

* * *

When Sasuke finally came to his senses, he faced a much bigger problem, the food area. It was nearing lunch time, and so many people had gathered around. All eating their greasy food, and laughing and talking and being so annoying. Not to mention all that body heat, making the small area about 5 degrees warmer then the rest of the fair. Giving a small shudder of disgust, Sasuke took another deep breath, and continued his trek to semi-freedom. He shoved past people, not bothering with manners. He jumped over a few tables, in attempt to be freed from all the people smashed around him, and then he saw the ride area, and he was almost out, but…

"Sasuke! I challenge you to a fight! A true test of youthfulness, the ultimate test of youth, the -" The energetic voice was cut short by a smack to the head.

Sasuke turned, coming face to face with Lee and Ten Ten, "No." he deadpanned.

Lee gave out a hearty chuckle, "You don't have a choice, you will race me, and I will beat you, and win the grand prize for SAKURA'S HEART!"

Sasuke could have laughed if he wasn't so emotionally stunted, "You don't need to race me for that, you can just have it. I don't want it, it's not my fault if you are to annoying to get her _heart." _Sasuke smirked, spitting out the last word.

Lee nodded. "If I can't first prove to myself I'm worthy, then how will I beat someone as deserving as an Uchiha? I MUST BEAT MY HIGH SCORE!" Lee bounded away as Ten Ten chuckled, shaking his head.

"Sasuke, you must want out of here, I know the entrance is being guarded by various chunin, but Neji found a hole in the gate just past the rides. He has a shadow clone here, just to make sure no one get's too suspicious. I suspect you will want to do the same."

Sasuke sighed in relief. Freedom really was in view, all he had to do was make a shadow clone and disguise himself as someone else. Once he got to his house he would go back to sleep and forget this awful day ever happened.

* * *

Sasuke finally arrive to the ride area, and he immediately noticed Sakura and Naruto going down an unsettlingly high slide. Sasuke rolled his eyes doing a quick survey of the area. He noticed small children with sticky fingers, a fried candy bar stand and the obnoxiously tall, pink slide. Then he spotted it, a small opening at the bottom of the fence, just small enough to go unnoticed, but it was there nonetheless.

Sasuke nonchalantly strolled into the bathrooms, gagging at the small of urine and vomit, he walked into one of the stalls. Quietly he made a shadow clone of himself, whispering specific instructions to him, and then transforming himself into a mouse. Sasuke-clone and Sasuke-mouse, (now safely tucked into Sasuke-clone's pockets) strolled out of the stall. Taking a moment to breath in the fresh(er) air, Sasuke-Clone wandered over to the fence line, and if you would have been watching him at that exact moment, you might have notice him drop an itsy-bitsy black mouse. Fortunately, no one did. Sasuke-Clone began his wander back to the hustle and bustle of the fair as Sasuke-mouse scurried in the deep grass towards the small whole that cried freedom.

"Aww look Kiba! A mouse!" A familiar, soft voice called, before grasping Sasuke's mouse body. Sasuke squirmed feebly, but Hinata's grasp was much stronger. He felt a finger pet his head.

"Hinata, put it down! It probably has millions of diseases." Shino said, one of his bugs flying around Sasuke. He knew it sensed his chakra, but he also knew Shino didn't care enough to point out who he really was, or wonder why he was a mouse. Hinata sighed, setting Sasuke down, she smiled, "Good bye, Naruto!"

Sasuke gagged at the name he was just called. He scurried the rest of the way to the fence, through the opening and onwards to sweet, sweet freedom. He stayed in his mouse form a good while, before finding a suitable tree to transform behind. He then transformed into an older man, 30s, dirty blonde hair, tall and handsome. He walked down the street, many people parting ways for him, women blushing. He smirked before arriving to his apartment. Making sure he was unseen, he transformed into himself, and quickly headed into his apartment.

Locking the door, he sighed. He was safe inside his own home, slumping down on the couch he looked around his messy apartment. Grabbing an (organic) tomato and a knife from his side table, he cut into his tomato and began eating.

"Home sweet home," Sasuke laughed to himself.

* * *

The end! Haha, this was inspired when I was walking around my local fair. It took me forever to actually finish this though.

Review?

(Also, you should really, really, look at my other writing, all though it's old and lame. I am thinking about writing a multicoated fic. Help me out?)


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